An Amorous Discourse in the Suburbs of Hell Read online

Page 2


  i would have to come to the angelic conclusion

  that if i was to imitate the acts of human beings

  i would have to imitate her not as she is

  but as she could be

  ‌

  He

  Erm … I find your

  Angelic hips alienating.

  You thrash about in some bedlam

  For the winged and divine

  Forgetting you have a mortal

  On your knee. My moustache is

  Full of froth. I don’t understand

  Say again what you said?

  ‌

  she

  i said nothing

  i said nothing

  i said looking

  down into the suburbs

  and beyond

  i saw

  sad stars fall

  like halos

  on men and women

  howling into the damp crease of their past

  i saw first worlds

  blister the skin

  of other worlds

  zebras

  gallop through

  burning suns to

  the shade of long

  grasses, and

  somewhere else, love

  affairs in old hotels

  with balconies

  i saw beggars beg

  in every language children fear

  death in every language

  and i saw you

  weeping on your doormat

  decided to become

  a commuter

  between heaven

  and

  the suburbs of hell

  you seemed like a good

  sort of man

  an accountant

  with culinary tendencies

  tho’ lacking in charisma

  (look at your tie)

  the task

  to

  bring you

  into

  the light

  and dark

  of uncertainty

  the two great themes

  of classical science

  chaos

  and

  order

  undressing and

  dressing and

  cross dressing and

  overdressing and

  addressing envelopes

  ‌

  He

  Sounds like hard work

  To me

  I like plain shampoos

  Soaps

  Ecologically sound

  Detergents

  One hundred per cent

  Wool

  Good strong tea

  Olive oil (budget permitting)

  I like the light

  To be just light

  And the dark

  To just be dark

  I do not wish to live in a grey area

  Or to read between the lines

  Love must start on the first line

  Continue on every line

  No line without love

  And then she marries me

  That is my wish

  ‌

  she

  get off my knee

  stanley …

  now!

  i try to introduce you

  to the way i see things

  and all you want is a wife

  a wife and a second-class stamp and a bath

  a bath and a donut and a product to kill moths

  ‌

  He

  You’re just a totalitarian angel

  Full of self-rapture

  I thought you were a divine messenger

  In fact you’re a glutton

  With wings

  ‌

  she

  you are suburbia’s satisfied son

  i came to you

  naked

  glittering

  flew through a chernobyl storm

  above the pripyat river and its seven left tributaries

  pina, yaselda, tsna, lan, sluch, ptsich, braginka

  to find your microwave dreaming of you

  yes dreaming of you

  kneeling in a nuclear forest

  gathering mushrooms in lithuania

  pinging

  pinging

  pinging

  dreaming in stainless steel for you

  ‌

  He

  You came to me

  At the moment

  I did battle with my soul

  And found myself

  Weeping on the doormat

  Journeyed through

  The storm in my heart

  To heal the wounded

  And yet the healer

  Is more wounded than myself.

  Your discontent

  Has shattered

  My double glazing

  Twice

  Who taught you

  To behave like that?

  This is a gentle place

  With ancient trees

  And often blossom

  Go away

  And don’t come back

  Fuck off

  Out of my easily

  Satisfied arms.

  ‌

  she

  so cruel you are

  secretly. untangle

  this bird caught

  in my hair. it blew

  in from somewhere

  made me yearn

  for hugs and

  boat rides

  i’ve got all plump

  from lack of euphoria.

  ‌

  He

  Ha!

  Despite your sizzling proclamations

  I am happier than you

  Though you despise me for it

  I listen to the weather forecast

  Enjoy peaceful walks

  In appropriate clothing

  Sleep well at night

  Do I need you?

  Though flattered to be visited by an angel

  With a mission

  I prefer talking to my postman

  His name is Shivadhar

  In winter he wears a black beanie

  With a bobble and I want one

  In blue.

  Tonight

  I will eat

  Pad Thai and drink

  Singha beer

  With my brother

  Grateful

  For small pleasures

  We can share

  All the while

  Glad to be sure

  The sun will always set in the West

  And dusk settle over this suburb of bankrupt councils

  Retail click-and-collect centres

  Mental health tribunals

  And me

  And Shivadhar

  And my brother.

  Did you say you can hear a frog

  Splashing at the end of the world?

  ‌

  she

  i said nothing

  i said something

  i said never talk to the hand

  when you have an angel

  perched on your wrist

  you are a human subject

  living and furious

  architect of your own paradise

  on this grave earth

  of splendid contraries

  it’s been a pleasure

  to know you

  and then know

  you a little bit more

  fry me a sardine

  the wind is blowing

  i’ll be off.

  ‌

  Dear readers,

  We rely on subscriptions from people like you to tell these other stories – the types of stories most publishers consider too risky to take on.

  Our subscribers don’t just make the books physically happen. They also help us approach booksellers, because we can demonstrate that our books already have readers and fans. And they give us the security to publish in line with our values, which are collaborative, imaginative and ‘shamelessly literary’.

  All of our subscribers:

  receive a first-edition copy of each of
the books they subscribe to

  are thanked by name at the end of these books

  are warmly invited to contribute to our plans and choice of future books

  Become a subscriber, or give a subscription to a friend

  Visit andotherstories.org/subscribe to become part of an alternative approach to publishing.

  Subscriptions are:

  £20 for two books per year

  £35 for four books per year

  £50 for six books per year

  Other Ways to Get Involved

  If you’d like to know about upcoming events and reading groups (our foreign-language reading groups help us choose books to publish, for example) you can:

  join the mailing list at: andotherstories.org/join-us

  follow us on Twitter: @andothertweets

  join us on Facebook: facebook.com/AndOtherStoriesBooks

  follow our blog: Ampersand

  ‌

  This book was made possible thanks to the support of:

  Adam Butler · Adam Lenson · Adrian May · AG Hughes · Aidan Cottrell-Boyce · Aine Bourke · Ajay Sharma · Alan Ramsey · Alannah Hopkin · Alastair Dickson · Alastair Gillespie · Alastair Laing · Alec Begley · Alex Martin · Alex Ramsey · Alex Sutcliffe · Alexandra Buchler · Alexandra de Verseg-Roesch · Ali Conway · Ali Smith · Alice Nightingale · Alisa Brookes · Alison Hughes · Alison Winston · Allison Graham · Alyse Ceirante · Amanda Anderson · Amanda Banham · Amanda Dalton · Amanda Love Darragh · Amelia Ashton · Amelia Dowe · Amy Rushton · Amy Webster · Ana Amália Alves · Andrea Davis · Andrew Marston · Andrew McCafferty · Andrew Nairn · Andrew Pattison · Andy Burfield · Andy Paterson · Angela Thirlwell · Angharad Eyre · Angus MacDonald · Angus Walker · Ann McAllister · Ann Van Dyck · Anna Milsom · Anna Vinegrad · Anna-Karin Palm · Annabel Hagg · Annalise Pippard · Anne Carus · Anne Claydon-Wallace · Anne Maguire · Anne Waugh · Anne Clair Le Reste · Anne Marie Jackson · Annette Nugent · Annie McDermott · Anonymous · Antonio de Swift · Antony Pearce · Archie Davies · Asher Norris · Averill Buchanan · Ayca Turkoglu

  Barbara Latham · Barbara Mellor · Barbara Thanni · Barbara Zybutz · Barry Norton · Bartolomie Tyszka · Belinda Farrell · Ben Paynter · Ben Schofield · Ben Smith · Ben Thornton · Benjamin Judge · Benjamin Morris · Blanka Stoltz · Bob Hill · Brenda Scott · Brendan McIntyre · Briallen Hopper · Bruce Ackers · Bruce Millar · Bruce & Maggie Holmes

  C Baker · C Mieville · Calum Colley · Candy Says Juju Sophie · Cara & Bali Haque · Carole JS Russo · Caroline Adie · Caroline Perry · Caroline Rigby · Carolyn A Schroeder · Cath Drummond · Cecily Maude · Charles Lambert · Charles Rowley · Charlotte Baines · Charlotte Holtam · Charlotte Ryland · Charlotte Whittle · Chris Day · Chris Hancox · Chris Radley · Chris Stevenson · Chris Wood · Chris Elcock · Christina Baum · Christina MacSweeney · Christina Scholz · Christine Lovell · Christine Luker · Christopher Allen · Christopher Marlow · Ciara Ní Riain · Ciarán Oman · Claire Fuller · Claire Mitchell · Claire Tranah · Clare Fisher · Clare Keates · Clare Lucas · Clarissa Botsford · Claudio Guerri · Clifford Posner · Clive Bellingham · Colin Burrow · Collette Eales · Courtney Lilly · Craig Barney

  Dan Pope · Daniel Carpenter · Daniel Gillespie · Daniel Hahn · Daniel Hugill · Daniel Lipscombe · Daniel Sheldrake · Daniel Venn · Daniel James Fraser · Daniela Steierberg · Dave Lander · David Archer · David Breuer · David Eales · David Gould · David Hedges · David Higgins · David Johnson-Davies · David Roberts · David Smith · Dawn Mazarakis · Debbie Pinfold · Deborah Bygrave · Deborah Jacob · Deborah Smith · Delia Cowley · Denise Jones · Denise Muir · Denise Sewell · Diana Brighouse · DW Wilson & A Howard

  Eddie Dick · Edward Baggs · Eileen Buttle · EJ Baker · Elaine Martel · Elaine Rassaby · Eleanor Maier · Elina Zicmane · Eliza O’Toole · Elizabeth Draper · Elizabeth Polonsky · Emily Jeremiah · Emily Taylor · Emily Williams · Emily Yaewon Lee & Gregory Limpens · Emma Bielecki · Emma Kenneally · Emma Teale · Emma Timpany · Eva Tobler-Zumstein · Evgenia Loginova · Ewan Tant

  Fawzia Kane · Ferdinand Craig Hall · Fi McMillan · Fiona Doepel · Fiona Graham · Fiona Powlett Smith · Fiona Quinn · Florian Andrews · Fran Sanderson · Frances Chapman · Francesca Bray · Francis Taylor · Francisco Vilhena · Freya Carr

  G Thrower · Gale Pryor · Garry Wilson · Gavin Collins · Gawain Espley · Gemma Tipton · Genevra Richardson · Geoffrey Fletcher · George McCaig · George Savona · George Wilkinson · George Sandison & Daniela Laterza · Georgia Panteli · Geraldine Brodie · Gill Boag-Munroe · Gillian Doherty · Gillian Jondorf · Gillian Spencer · Gillian Stern · Giselle Maynard · Gloria Sully · Glyn Ridgley · Gordon Cameron · Gordon Campbell · Gordon Mackechnie · Graham Hardwick · Graham & Steph Parslow · Graham R Foster · Gwyn Wallace

  Hannah Perret · Hanne Larsson · Hannes Heise · Harriet Gamper · Harriet Mossop · Harriet Owles · Harriet Sayer · Harriet Spencer · Helen Asquith · Helen Bailey · Helen Buck · Helen Collins · Helen Weir · Helen Wormald · Helen Brady · Helena Taylor · Helene Walters · Henrike Laehnemann · Howdy Reisdorf · Hugh Buckingham

  Ian Barnett · Ian Kirkwood · Ian McMillan · Irene Mansfield · Isabel Costello · Isabella Garment · Isobel Staniland

  J Collins · Jack Brown · Jacky Oughton · Jacqueline Crooks · Jacqueline Haskell · Jacqueline Taylor · Jacqueline Lademann · Jacqueline & Alistair Douglas · Jacquie Goacher · Jade Maitre · James Clark · James Cubbon · James Huddie · James Portlock · James Scudamore · James Tierney · James Upton · James & Mapi · Jane Brandon · Jane Whiteley · Jane Woollard · Janet Bolam · Janet Mullarney · Janette Ryan · Jasmine Dee Cooper · Jasmine Gideon · Jason Spencer · JC Sutcliffe · Jeff Collins · Jen Grainger · Jen Hamilton-Emery · Jenifer Logie · Jennifer Higgins · Jennifer Hurstfield · Jennifer O’Brien · Jennifer Watson · Jenny Diski · Jenny Newton · Jeremy Weinstock · Jerry Lynch · Jess Wood · Jethro Soutar · Jillian Jones · Jim Boucherat · Jo Elvery · Jo Harding · Jo Hope · Joan Clinch · Joanne Hart · Jocelyn English · Jodie Free · Joel Love · Johan Forsell · Johannes Georg Zipp · John Allison · John Conway · John Fisher · John Gent · John Hodgson · John Kelly · John Nicholson · John Steph Grainger · Jon Gower · Jon Iglesias · Jon Lindsay Miles · Jonathan Evans · Jonathan Watkiss · Joseph Cooney · Josephine Burton & Jeremy Gordon · JP Sanders · Judith Heneghan · Judith Norton · Judy Kendall · Julian Duplain · Julian Lomas · Juliane Jarke · Julie Freeborn · Julie Gibson · Julie Van Pelt

  Kaarina Hollo · Kaitlin Olson · Kalbinder Dayal · Kapka Kassabova · Karan Deep Singh · Kari Dickson · Karla Fonesca · Katarina Trodden · Kate Gardner · Kate Griffin · Kate Rhind · Kate Waugh · Katharina Liehr · Katharine Freeman · Katharine Robbins · Katherine Jacomb · Kathryn Lewis · Katia Leloutre · Katie Smith · Kay Elmy · Keith Alldritt · Keith Dunnett · Ken Walsh · Kevin Acott · Kevin Brockmeier · Kevin Pino · KL Ee · Koen Van Bockstal · Kristin Djuve · Krystalli Glyniadakis

  Lana Selby · Larry Colbeck · Laura Bennett · Laura Clarke · Laura Jenkins · Laura Solon · Laura Woods · Lauren Ellemore · Lauren Kassell · Leanne Bass · Leonie Schwab · Lesley Lawn · Lesley Murphey · Lesley Watters · Leslie Leuck · Leslie Rose · Linda Harte · Lindsay Brammer · Lindsey Ford · Liz Clifford · Liz Tunnicliffe · Loretta Platts · Lorna Bleach · Louise Bongiovanni · Louise Rogers · Louise S Smith · Lucie Donahue · Lucie Harris · Lucy Luke · Lynda Graham · Lynn Martin

  M Manfre · Madeleine Kleinwort · Maeve Lambe · Maggie Peel · Maisie & Nick Carter · Malcolm Bourne · Marella Oppenheim · Mareta & Conor Doyle · Margaret Jull Costa · Maria Pelletta · Marina Castledine · Marina Lomunno · Marion Cole · Marion England · Marion Tricoire · Mark Ainsbury · Mark Howdle · Mark Stevenson · Mark Waters · Marta Muntasell · Martha Gifford · Martha Nicholson · Martin Brampton · Martin Hollywood · Mary Hall · Mary Wang · Mary Ann Horgan · Matt Oldfield · Matt Riggott · Matthew Bates · Matthew Francis · Matthew Lawrence · Matthew Steventon · Matthew Todd · Maur
een Freely · Maxime Dargaud-Fons · Melissa da Silveira Serpa · Michael Harrison · Michael Johnston · Michael Kitto · Michael & Christine Thompson · Michelle Bailat-Jones · Michelle Roberts · Miles Visman · Milo Waterfield · Monika Olsen · Morgan Lyons · Moshi Moshi Records · Murali Menon

  N Jabinh · Nan Craig · Nan Haberman · Nasser Hashmi · Natalie Smith · Natalie Wardle · Natasha Soobramanien · Nathalie Adams · Nathaniel Barber · Nia Emlyn-Jones · Nicci Rodie · Nick Judd · Nick Williams · Nick James · Nick Nelson & Rachel Eley · Nicola Balkind · Nicola Hart · Nicola Hughes · Nina Alexandersen · Noah Birksted-Breen · Nora Gombos · Nuala Watt

  Owen Booth

  Pamela Ritchie · Pat Crowe · Patrick Owen · Paul Bailey · Paul Brand · Paul Hannon · Paul Hollands · Paul Jones · Paul Miller · Paul Munday · Paul Myatt · Paul Sullivan · Paul M Cray · Paula McGrath · Penelope Price · Peter Armstrong · Peter Burns · Peter Law · Peter Lawton · Peter Murray · Peter Rowland · Peter Vos · Philip Warren · Philippe Royer · Phyllis Reeve · Piet Van Bockstal · Pipa Clements · PM Goodman · Polly McLean

  Rachael Williams · Rachel Bailey · Rachel Henderson · Rachel Kennedy · Rachel Lasserson · Rachel Van Riel · Rachel Watkins · Read MAW Books · Rebecca Atkinson · Rebecca Braun · Rebecca Moss · Rebecca Rosenthal · Renata Larkin · Rhian Jones · Rhodri Jones · Richard Ellis · Richard Jackson · Richard Smith · Richard Wales · Rishi Dastidar · Rob Jefferson-Brown · Robert Gillett · Robert Saunders · Robin Patterson · Robin Woodburn · Rodolfo Barradas · Rory Sullivan · Ros Schwartz · Rose Cole · Rose Skelton · Rosemary Rodwell · Ross Macpherson · Rossana · Roz Simpson · Russell Logan · Ruth Stokes · Ruth F Hunt

  SE Guine · SJ Bradley · SJ Naudé · Sabine Griffiths · Sally Baker · Sam Ruddock · Samantha Sabbarton-Wright · Sandra de Monte · Sandra Hall · Sandy Derbyshire · Sara D’Arcy · Sarah Benson · Sarah Butler · Sarah Duguid · Sarah Fakray · Sarah Pybus · Sarah Salmon · Sarah Salway · Sasha Dugdale · Saskia Restorick · Sean Malone · Sean McGivern · Sharon Evans · Shazea Quraishi · Sheridan Marshall · Sherine El-Sayed · Shirley Harwood · Sigrun Hodne · Simon Armstrong · Simon Pare · Simon Pennington · Simon Thomson · Simon John Harvey · Simona Constantin · Sinead Rippington · Siobhan Higgins · Sonia McLintock · Sophie Eustace · Sophie North · Stef Kennedy · Stefano D’Orilia · Steph Morris · Stephanie Brada · Stephen Abbott · Stephen Pearsall · Stephen Walker · Stephen H Oakey · Stewart McAbney · Stuart Condie · Sue Doyle · Sue & Ed Aldred · Sunil Samani · Susan Tomaselli · Susie Roberson · Suzanne White